So far from where I've been...

This morning as I lay my arm gently across my pillow. I moved my fingertips in soft circles imagining it to be my true love's chest. Would it be hairy? Smooth? After thinking about it for a moment, I can almost feel soft swirls of hair between my fingers.

It has been a long time since I've fallen asleep in the arms of another. I sometimes forget what it really feels like.

The gentle rise and fall of my lover's chest under my cheek and "lub-dub" against my ear drum. The slight tickle of my lover's breath against my hair.

Those were much simpler times, unspoiled by money, power, or lust. Before my first love set me free into the world. "You need to see what else is out there," he had said.

It's been twelve long years, and even still I'm not so sure.